Hypermetropia

NO FULL STOPS IN INDIA

2011-06-20T15:52:00.006+05:30

I have been asked by some of my friends to review the books that I read, so that they can form an opinion on them and then read those. So here is the first of my reviews:

Book : No full stops in India
Author : Mark Tully
Genre : Non fiction

For an Englishman born in Calcutta and having been an 'India' correspondent for BBC for more than two decades, it wouldn't be out of place to describe Mark Tully as three quarters Indian. His writings always reveal an underlying Love for the country that even many Indians cannot manage. Though there is the odd comparision to British or western practices and customs, the book celebrates India in a way that only Mark Tully can describe. Be it the elaborate settings for the Kumbh Mela, or the torrid tales of the Amritsar and Ahmedabad riots, he weaves his writings in such a way that the reader gets a feeling of being there when it happened. What strikes most is his impartial way of putting things, be it by design or by chance. The most interesting that I found were the chapters on the Deorala Sati and the Defeat of a Congressman. In The Defeat of a Congressman, the way he describers the fall of Digvijay Singh, destined for big heights in politics, into an also ran for the Congress party, brings a feeling of helplessness and hatred towards the way politics is run in this country. The chapter on Communism in Calcutta brings the reality of the fall of communism all around the world, and how those in Calcutta are clinging to the last vestiges of power. Even though written in 1991, the book brings a sense of foreboding for the communists, describing the rot that had sent into their government even then. Its only surprising that it has taken almost 20 years for the government to fall even after such suffering of the people. This goes a long way in saying about India's political system. The Chapter on 'return of the Artist' describes the plight on the traditional arts and crafts in the country, with a glimpse into the life of India's tribals.

Whats common to all these articles is that all of them are his own life experiences, and all of them have described bribery and corruption in one form or the other. The ineptitude of the government also stands out in most of them, making one believe that he is government bashing - but anyone who has lived in India for any significant amount of time will vouch for the fact that what has been mentioned is sad, but true. Where he so much succeeds is that he has made the commonplace mingle with the most bizarre, with a small bit of humour and exaggeration that is essential when someone is writing on India.

All in all, it is a book that is as entertaining as it is enlightening, and I would definitely recommend it to all Indophiles and also all people who like good writing.

Rating : 4/5

ENGINEERING 'COLLAGE'

2011-01-20T17:13:00.002+05:30

I happened to talk to a lot of my friends from Engineering college and school very recently. Most of them are well settled with their jobs and everything, and all of them want to know how it was ‘going back to school’, so to speak, when I decided to do my MBA. Well, instead of talking about MBA, of which there’s nothing much to write home about, I have decided to write about the good times we had in Engineering College. There is a lot to cover, so this is the first of four instalments, starting chronologically with the first year.

All great things begin with a bang. We started off our Engineering education in typical Kerala fashion – strike on day one of college. I had high expectations thereafter, but was a bit disappointed in that respect. After that day, we only had a strike once later. But it was fun nonetheless. And then it took almost a year to get to know everyone. But the best part of that year were the weekly train journeys between Thrissur and Ernakulam – short and sweet, but so full of fun. The ticketless travels (never me, I always had a season ticket), the full train walk to the pantry of Dhanbad Express (getting cutlets and samosas and Lays), the leering and ogling at each and every young specimen of the opposite sex, talking to every person in the compartment, showing off to everyone that we are from the best (or second best) Engineering college in the state and a hell of a lot of other things- politics, sports, cinema, anything and everything that we had picked up. We were a bunch of noisy fellows, singing and talking loudly in the train, no worries in the world, getting unsolicited stares from everyone else in the train. But we didn’t care, and enjoyed every minute of the journey.

The college canteen was legendary. In the beginning, all of us were weary of going into it. We had heard stories of weird creatures being found in the food, food being stale, and also an unconfirmed report of mice being found in the rice. But one day we summoned up the courage to go there and then to our surprise found that the food was actually quite okay. Masala Dosa for 5 rupees, Sada Dosa for 4 rupees, cutlet for 2.50 and meals for 10 wasn’t bad at all. Boy weren’t we glad that there was a canteen in our college. There was the MILMA booth as well, quenching our thirst and satiating our hunger when the food in the canteen was not good enough, which according to some dudes was most often the case. And of course Wimbis can never be forgotten. The Veg Puff and Lime Juice routine that I followed there religiously for the four years is, well, unbelievable thinking about it now. It was in the ‘lawns’ of this great bakery that I came across the first entrepreneur in my life. Shamil Kumar – of SKCL fame. He was the one awakened the sleeping management student in me. Having got into our college for Chemical Engineering, he found the course too difficult to handle. He dropped out, started a small stationary shop, and now has branch offices as well. He is the one stop solution for all of us – be it project submission, exam (and supplementary exam) form, internet browsing, stationery, bird watching, and what not. If the college ran out of the official College letterhead, no worries guys, SKCL has it. J Add to that his bits of gyan on anything under the sky, well, no wonder he is more prosperous than many engineers I know.

Coming to academics, the lab sessions were the ultimate stress busters. Having been bestowed with group mates like Salim Zabeel, Nycil and Neethu at one time or the other, there was no dearth of fun n frolic, especially in the Chemistry labs. Phenol became Acetone, Sodium Carbonate became Potassium Permanganate, Methyl Orange and Phenolphthalein changed colours at the exact titre values as though by magic. The picture of ‘Dr. Rita George’ staring in wonderment is still fresh in my memory, when we got the values right at the first instance itself, without a ‘redo’. It was I guess the first such experience in her life. Little did she know how we got it right. And I am not going to reveal it here, either. J And the less we speak about organic chemistry lab, the better. A smile never escapes my face when I try to recollect the contorted faces of our batch mates, trying to find traces of that ‘bitter almond smell’ or ‘fruity smell’ or ‘pungent like odour’ in order not to end up doing extra lab sessions. Oh, those were the days. Where are you guys...

And no mention of college is complete without the mention of ‘Hostel’. Since I was supposedly living close to Thrissur, and of the general category, I did not get the college hostel. And since I was a ‘higher Option’ candidate, by the time I came for admissions, all the hostels nearby were taken. So I ended up at ‘Pranavam Hostel’, near ‘Girija’ theatre. The place was a decent enough one, where shared my abode with 13 other “Paavam” inmates. The warden was one piece of Gods workmanship (or mistake however you would like to see it). He believed that being in a hostel for us was supposed to some kind of an ordeal. The less I speak about it, the better. The only thing I can say is that boy, did I learn to live.

Well, I could carry on and on, but theres a limit to everything. I guess this pretty much covers the bare essentials, and all of us have our own stories to tell, but I end the first year here. The second edition will soon follow, with a supposedly more mature second year.

2010-11-12T14:19:00.009+05:30

COMMONWEALTH GAMES : IS THE PICTURE AS ROSY AS IT SEEMS?

2010-10-15T12:21:00.001+05:30

Kudos to the Indian athletes who have made the country proud by winning 101 medals in the commonwealth games. It was really a great achievement. And it becomes even more significant since it was achieved in spite of, rather than because of the various mismanaging sporting governing bodies of the country, who tend to bring unforeseen levels of incompetence every time they are given some responsibility.

So I was very happy going around celebrating the achievements, when I came across one of my friends, always the eternal pessimist.

Me: So, did you hear about our medal haul in the CWG?

EP: Sure, I did. But what’s the big deal about it?

Me: Big deal? Dude, we came in second among 72 nations, only behind Australia. We had a record haul of 38 gold medals. A total of 101.

EP: So what? What are the events in which we won the medals?

Me: Shooting, Wrestling, Archery, Boxing, Athletics, Weightlifting, Badminton, Table tennis and tennis.

EP: Hmmm...

Me: What Hmmmm...

EP: Mate, I don’t deny the fact that we won those medals. Good work. But this is no time for celebrations. Put things in perspective. Let’s start with shooting. 11golds, is it? Apart from Abhinav Bindra, how many Olympic champions participated in the event? And since it was the Commonwealth games, none of the Europeans, generally the medal winners at these events, participated in it. So of course we were bound to win those medals, competing against countries like Anguilla, Cayman Islands, Cook Islands, Gurnsey, Isle of Man, Kiribati, Malawi, Montserrat, Nauru, Niue etc. Only Australia, Canada and England have any sporting credentials, and they came with a second rung team, with most of their top athletes pulling out. It’s like India winning the cricket World cup with only Bangladesh, Ireland, Afghanistan, UAE, Holland, Namibia, and Zimbabwe. Same is the case with Archery. Now onto boxing. The much lauded Vijender managed only a bronze, that too without Cuba and Kazakhstan not in the picture. Canada too, came without their top three boxers. Still they managed only three medals. Great going, eh? And weightlifting and wrestling? No Romania, Ukraine, Poland, Finland, South Africa... Hmm... Still we won two medals. Great going. :P Badminton? Agrreed, Saina Nehwal is probably a class apart. But without any Indonesians testing her skills, it was a bit easy for her. And Jwala Gutta in doubles? Well, for somebody who did not even qualify to play in the Olympics two years ago, it was a very easy entry into the CWG fray.

Lets take table tennis. No China, the Koreas, Japan or Poland. Hmmm.. A bit easy, I guess. And we almost lost the Gold in tennis. Somdev Devvvarman saved us. Add to that the majot pull outs due to security reasons. The field was too shortened.

And what about the major disappointments? Jyotsna Chinnappa, Dipika Pallikkal, Leander Paes, Mahesh Bhupathi, Susheel Kumar, Sania Mirza (this point is debatable, though).. The list is endless. So my dear, celebrate all you want, but come the Olympics, and we will be back to square one. Well have a wager. I say we will have at most 5 medals in the Olympics. What say?

Me: well it’s a bit too early for a wager. Let’s see.. I’m game.

I guess he was a bit too pessimistic, but whatever he said was right. Once the dust has settled on the games, we need to have an introspection. No doubt we have improved as a sporting nation. But this medal haul should act as an inspiration to all the athletes to improve upon their own performances. Yes, this win is great. Yes, we need to celebrate. But it is also true that we have a long way to go. Lot of hard work to put in, lots of toil, lots of time practicing, lots of money spent on upgradation. Only then we can compete among the best in the world, and win more and more medals in the years to come.

And me, my wager.

WHATS THE POINT OF IT ALL!!

2010-08-09T16:19:00.001+05:30

It feels as though nothing is working out,
Your life has turned upside down, inside out,
What you thought as being your destiny,
Was nothing but a mirage, your life its testimony.
What you thought as being yours forever
Turned out to be just a temporary shelter
When you really don’t know your place
In others lives, if they need you or not, care for you or not
Everyone blames you, questions you, derides you
And you are not sure what you are going to do
They call you a loser, say lighten up, and get a life
What do they know, how deep is your strife.

But it doesn’t really matter what others do or think or say,
If you have all your happiness taken away
You know yourself, better than most
Find your own happiness, which seems to have been lost
After all you came into this world alone
And you are going to leave it alone
So what’s the point in love, friendship at all?

REALIZATION OF THE SELF

2010-07-24T11:06:00.002+05:30

The modern man is greatly in need of an effective guide to light. He is groping. He sees only problems everywhere and no solutions are to be found anywhere. He does not know which way to turn, what course to adopt and how to move towards a better state of things. Therefore, his life is filled with restlessness, unhappiness and complication. The only way this world can progress is for each and every human individual to help himself to solve the vexing problem of overcoming the present and progressing towards a bright future. Every human being has the divine wisdom within himself in order to help human beings face and solve the ever-present problems of birth and death, of pain, suffering, fear, bondage, love and hate. It enables man to liberate himself from all limiting factors and reach a state of perfect balance, inner stability and mental peace, complete freedom from grief, fear and anxiety. This is the experience of everyone in this world, the drama of the ascent of man from a state of utter dejection, sorrow and total breakdown and hopelessness to a state of perfect understanding, clarity, renewed strength and triumph.

Man is a composite of three fundamental factors, namely, will, feeling and cognition. There are three kinds of temperament—the active, the emotional and the rational.

You can become liberated by annihilating the ego and the currents of likes and dislikes; by annihilating desires and cravings and destroying their residual potencies. Thus, you can rest in your true essential nature as Existence-Knowledge-Bliss and still be active in the affairs of the world. Now you will not be bound by your actions since the idea of doership has been destroyed by the attainment of knowledge of the Self.

Hence we can say that the knowledge of the self is the most important of all learning, as this leads to a knowledge of your world and everyone associated with it.

2010-06-25T13:45:00.005+05:30

MONSOON NOSTALGIA

2010-06-18T11:06:00.002+05:30

Nostalgia can be a cruel reminder, sometimes. It hits you like a whiff of breeze while sitting in the rickety old KSRTC bus. It caresses you while wading through waist deep waters on the roads. It teases you with thoughts of the good times gone by. It takes you back to your childhood. It brings an involuntary smile on your face when you see students of your alma mater trying to stay dry in the torrential rains. It nourishes your mind like the first drops of the monsoon does to the parched Earth. It touches your heart in a way only it can. It brings back memories that you have hidden deep within you, reminding you that those times will never come by again, whats gone is gone, and that every human being always carries the burden of the past along with him. It gives a new meaning to your future. It reminds you of the cyclicality of life. No matter where you are in life, where you end up, one day you will end up face to face with your maker. Thats life. A journey from Birth unto Death.

Its really strange how the monsoons are related to Nostalgia. Well, for anyone who is from the part of the country I hail from, its really a very important phenomenon. many peoples' lives revolve arount it and its vagaries. its time for sowing your next round of crops, mainly rice, Kerala's staple diet. It brings with it the holy month of karkidakom, also the beginning of the festival season. And most recently, it brongs with it Chikungunya, Viral Fever, Rat fever, Dengue and malaria. Its always associated with schools reopening after the summer vacations, advertisements of umpteen varieties of umbrellas, droplets of water racing against each other to form a puddle in the smallest of deppressions in the soil, and what not. Its always associated with life, always with fresh energy and vigour. But there is more to it than mere nostalgia and a feeling of exhilaration.

The monsoon is a huge natural engine, driven by the temperature differences over sea and land; in summmer the air around the alnd grows hot, expands and rises, so cool sea air must flow in to equalize the pressure. This sets up an aerial current from the Indian Ocean. It heads for india, and th evaporating water it picks up over the oceans falls as rain when it reaches the land. This vapour cpndensation releases latent heat which warms the air, pushing it upwards and allowing even more wet air to come in from the sea. But it also cools the land, always driving that heating and upward convection further into India. That is why the monsoon is a travelling phenomenon, always folllowing a stringent path, very much like a train following an itinerary.

FIRST RAINS IN MUMBAI

2010-06-10T13:34:00.004+05:30

Getting Darker

First gathering Clouds.

MY FIRST EXPERIENCE AS AN INTERVIEWER

2010-06-04T09:28:00.006+05:30

The best part of doing summer internships is that sometimes you end up doing something that you have never done in your life. My internship was in Mumbai. Apart from doing other things, I got the chance to don the cap of an interviewer. (YES, interviewer, not interviewee). So this was how my first time as an interviewer pannned out:

I was sitting in my hotel room (paid for by the company, of course),after having a healthy breakfast of Sandwiches and Pineapple juice (paid for by the company, of course). There was a knock on the door and in came the first candidate, Mr. Bolti Band (name changed to maintain privacy).

BB : Hi, I come for interview.

Me : Yes, Good morning, Mr BB. Please come in and have a seat.

BB : Thank you. (Sitting) Actually you should not be interviewing me.

Me : Im sorry?

BB : I having 27 years of experience. You give me direct appointment.

Me : (Yeah, right). I understand, Mr BB. But we have a process in place and I will have to follow that. I wont take too much of your time. Let me start with your experience. You have 20 years of experience in Naphtha Cracking. So could you explain me the process.

BB : Explains some shit in totally broken English that I dont understand. I play along and nod my head as if I have understood each word. I even manage to ask a couple of intelligent questions. He is surprised. He thought that I knew nothing about his line of work, and started talkink as an all knowing authority. But being a Chemical Engineer has its advantages, after all. Then sudddnely, out of nowhere, he changes the subject.

I am expecting 10,000 USD per month as saving.

ME : I beg your pardon? (Did you just say $10, 000? Do you even know what the hell that means?)

BB : Yes, I have lot experience. So I am negotiating now. I want saving atleast 10, 000 dollars.

Me : (Seeing where this was going to head) That is not really in my hands. We can discuss that when you have your final interview with the techincal and HR heads.

[In the meanwhile, Im going through his credentials.Diploma holder, did engineering for one year (then dropped out, I guess), first salary was Rs 100, 27 years of experience alright, but in unknown companies and that too for not more that 4 or 5 years in one organization. Add to that terrible English. And you want 10, 000$ in svings. You must be kidding me.]

Me : (Realizing Im wasting my time) Anyway, good talking to you, MR BB. I think I have all the necessary information that I need. If you could fill this travel reimbursement sheet, we can credit the amount in your account.

He fills it. Its an axis bank account. But there are only 6 digits.

Me : Doesnt Axis bank give 15 digit account numbers? You have written onyl 6 digits written. The amount will not be credited into your account, this way.

BB : You are young. You dont know anything. the last 6 digits are enough for money putting in account.

Me : Fine.(Its your money,I dontn give a damn) Okay then, I think Im done. Do you have any questions?>

BB : Yes, I want salary 10, 000.

Me : Yes, I know. Apart from that.

BB : When I wil get admitted?

Me : (Admitted? Hospital or school?) That would be decided by our HR head in discussion with the techincal head in the site. We will intimate you through e - mail in the next two or three days. Is that okay?

BB : OK. But you losing very good employee if you not take me. Salary can negotiate. Give me job. I do very well. I am a good experience.

Me : (Sure you are) Yes, Mr BB. We will have that in mind. Have a nice day.

To this day, his salary is under negotiations. He has come down to 5000$ now. But the poor guy doesnt know that we have closed his process. And as to his travel reimbursement, well, the Axis Bank lady just gave our peon a huge stare and tore the cheque into pieces when he went there with the 6 digit account number to deposit the amount. So we are still wating for his "Full" account number. I dont think its going to come. His pride is hurt too much in front of a "young" guy.

This was only one candidate. There were more.But more on that later. I am just happy that when I go for my next interview, I know what all NOT to do. It was a real summer 'training', indeed. I thank my college for this lovely experience.

A great Group Discussion

2010-03-07T00:22:00.001+05:30

All of us must have heard the expression ‘a group discussion (GD, from now on) should never be a fish market’. Well, some GDs are much more than that. They make fish markets look like the most decent kind of markets around. Well, I just recently had such an experience.

An institute that incidentally shares its name with one of the greatest examples in detergent marketing in India had conducted its annual Management fest. I decide to participate in it to get a different ‘perspective’. The event was innocently termed ‘War of Words’, and was touted as a debate competition. The first round was an out and out debate round where we were given 5 minutes to talk on a topic, for and against. Thanks to my teammate, we managed to qualify into the final round. It was supposed to be surprise event. And what a surprise it was! The final round was a group discussion. Now that was a gem of an idea. Whoever would have thought of having a group discussion as the final round in a ‘debate’ competition!
The event was a disaster from the moment it started off. We were given 10 minutes to talk, or make ourselves heard, or whatever. The topic had something to do with the movie three idiots and the Indian educational system. But no one seemed to have a clue as to what they were talking about. We had people talking about VVS Laxman and the Kolkata test, (I would have loved to talk on this topic for hours on, but on another forum), some guy talking ‘for the sake of mankind’,(as though he had the task of saving it from this evil world) and we even had a member threatening a walkout ala the Indian parliament). As you might have guessed, yours truly was unable to make any significant contribution, as I was just laughing away at what was happening. I personally had not seen a fish market, being a vegetarian and all that, but my respect for that kind of place grew tenfold after seeing what happened in that room. Rajdeep Sardesai and Karan Thapar are not dead, but if they were, they definitely would be turning in their grave. When the judges finally got tired of all the screaming, they asked everyone to stop and gave a minute each to each group to sum up, individually. This was the only time most of the audience knew what was actually going on!

I have been to many events, but this one ranks as the funniest one that I have attended. Hope to attend more of this kind, but next time as a spectator rather than a participant.

P.S : Our certificates for the event are still pending. Wonder why they are getting delayed. Maybe they are still debating about it.

Musical Transgressions

2009-09-22T19:40:00.002+05:30

I have been flooded with multiple requests ( from multiple people, of course :) ) to publish my poetry or what I call 'my musical transgressions'. So here is one of them.

I've got a feeling tonight,
That things are gonna be right,
Who would have thought that you would
Come into my life and be the one

And a feeling tonight,
That somewhere there is a light,
And I will find my own way,
Whatever people may say.

And a feeling tonight,
That says you're gonna be mine,
Now I can hear my own heart,
saying that

Maybe I'm in love
I Dont know why where and how,
My heart was taken away,
By your smile and your sway.
Well, maybe I'm in Love,
But dont know where it begins,
and even where does it end,
I thought that you were my friend.

My life has now turned around for the better,
It couldn't have gotten any sweeter,
You're mine and thats the only thing I care for,
Maybe I should have let you known, girl.

You should have just stayed a little bit longer,
Given me love and made me stronger,
I should have tried that little bit harder,
To hold you near me forever.

Thir13 Commandments of an IT Professional

2009-05-15T17:12:00.000+05:30

1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.

2. If it's really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That helps. Or even better, hover behind me, advising me at every keystroke.

3. Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.

4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don't open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be injured and lose all use of my limbs.

5. If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is priority. I am psychic.

6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.

7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.

8. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.

9. If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.

10. Never introduce me to the people you're with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.

11. Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to managers' hell.

12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it's nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so much taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager.

13. Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I'm not here for the money anyway.

Rediffed.. :(

2009-04-11T19:17:00.000+05:30

I now know what the guy who invented the term 'Shanghaied' must have felt. There is no worse feeling than to be taken for a ride by someone, specially when you pride yourself to be real smart and above all cheatability. Well, my 'Smart' bubble burst last week, and it wasnt pretty, let me tell you.

It was just another routine day at work for me. I had absolutely nothing to do. I had tried it all, from trying out all the fonts and calculations and what not in excel (Its a great tool by Microsoft, let me tell you) to logging in to check my mail 36 times, in the vain hope of catching someone with whom I had not already had a chat in the previous hour, or to find any new forwards. No luck. And I was still bored. So I went for login number 37.

I was in luck this time. There was a mail!! It was from rediff shopping. Get a 2 GB Shuffle MP3 player for just Rs 599/- with extra BASS headphones absolutely free. What a steal, I thought to myself. I quickly filled up the online registration forms and then ordered for my product, paying through my debit card. And then the wait began.

Day 1 : Well, it has only been a day since I placed the order, lets wait.
Day 2 : Well, it has only been two days since I placed the order, lets wait.
Day 3 : Well, it has only been three days since I placed the order, lets wait. But I am beginning to lose my patience.
Day 4 : Thats it. I have had it. Let me write a mail asking where the hell is my IPOD. I do write the mail.
Day 5: No response. I forward the mail again to them.
Day 6 : Aha! Theres a response. Your order has been dispatched.
Day 7 : I get a call from the courier service that my package will be arriving today. They just called to know if I will be available. You bet I will. And then it finally arrived. All my waiting is going to bear fruit now. I open the package. Looks bulky. I remove the thermocol cover. Oh My god!! I almost faint in horror! I was expecting a cool Apple IPOD shuffle and waht do I see? Its not an Apple! Its not an IPOD.Its 'Crapple'.And far from being an IPOD. My dreams are shattered. So much for the 'steal'. It was more like stolen. I had no idea what to do. I was stuck with it. Now wait! What about the free headphone? I search frantically in the box. There it is! What the *#@! ? They call THESE headphones? These little pieces of junk? There was the head, alright. And the phone. So are WE supposed to bring them together into holy matrimony or something? Wheres the wire? And where in hell is the the thing to connect it to the music player?

It then dawned on me that I had been taken for a ride. A real ride. I could picture the faces of the dealers now, thinking of me and how gullible I had been. Well, the jokes on you guys. I may have become poorer by 600 bucks, but I am now richer with the experience. Really rich. Really Really rich. :)

Forget Shanghaied, been Rediffed, anyone?

In Recession We Trust

2009-04-07T16:07:00.000+05:30

There are some who are lucky enough to be educated in economics and hence know the meaning of the word 'Recession'. And then there are others, like yours truly who knows about it as much as Chris martin knows about batting, or Elizabeth Taylor about monogamy. So I did my research on the subject and this is what I found out. You know recession has affected you, when:

1. You go to the coffee vending machine and you realize that they have added an extra slot in it to put a 5 rupee coin.
2. You ask for stationery at the office and are faced with hostile stares as if you have asked for a condom at a monastery.
3. Your manager asks you to do car pooling while using the cab service and that too, with total strangers (read employees of other firms).
4. And then you walk to office saying that your dietician has advised it as a 'health improvement measure'.
5. Your salary gets halved, your perks get shelved, and the only thing that has increased is your Blood Pressure along with your workload.
6. The guy at the restaurant starts charging you for each tissue that you use up, and hence you have nothing to take home.
7. You wake up in the morning and find the free coupons in the newspapers having been cut out by your neighbour.
8. You go to the supermarket and only buy things that come with something free with them.
9. You come to work in the night shift, even though you have absolutely no work, so that you can earn that extra money.
10. You avoid eating out, giving the reason that the food is not hygienic.
11. You start visiting your long forgotten second cousin of the third cousin of your first cousins during weekends to ‘renew your relations’.
12. The hotel that youn stay in does not give you towels or soap or toothbrush saying that you might use them to commit suicide.

Hypermetropia

2009-04-07T14:19:00.000+05:30

Far sightedness.. As the name suggests, some people have too much of it, while some have none at all. That makes us wonder what some people must have been thinking while making the below satements - some funny, some intelligent,some thoughtful, some outright stupid. Be the judge yourself.

100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

A conclusion is the place where you get tired of thinking.

A day without sunshine is like, night. (Bravo!)

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

All generalizations are false, including this one.

All men are idiots, and I married their King.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Always try to be modest and be proud of it!

Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.

Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

Assassins do it from behind.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Beer: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks

Borrow money from a pessimist, they don't expect it back.

Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

and.. the one that tops it all...

Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!