I now know what the guy who invented the term 'Shanghaied' must have felt. There is no worse feeling than to be taken for a ride by someone, specially when you pride yourself to be real smart and above all cheatability. Well, my 'Smart' bubble burst last week, and it wasnt pretty, let me tell you.
It was just another routine day at work for me. I had absolutely nothing to do. I had tried it all, from trying out all the fonts and calculations and what not in excel (Its a great tool by Microsoft, let me tell you) to logging in to check my mail 36 times, in the vain hope of catching someone with whom I had not already had a chat in the previous hour, or to find any new forwards. No luck. And I was still bored. So I went for login number 37.
I was in luck this time. There was a mail!! It was from rediff shopping. Get a 2 GB Shuffle MP3 player for just Rs 599/- with extra BASS headphones absolutely free. What a steal, I thought to myself. I quickly filled up the online registration forms and then ordered for my product, paying through my debit card. And then the wait began.
Day 1 : Well, it has only been a day since I placed the order, lets wait.
Day 2 : Well, it has only been two days since I placed the order, lets wait.
Day 3 : Well, it has only been three days since I placed the order, lets wait. But I am beginning to lose my patience.
Day 4 : Thats it. I have had it. Let me write a mail asking where the hell is my IPOD. I do write the mail.
Day 5: No response. I forward the mail again to them.
Day 6 : Aha! Theres a response. Your order has been dispatched.
Day 7 : I get a call from the courier service that my package will be arriving today. They just called to know if I will be available. You bet I will. And then it finally arrived. All my waiting is going to bear fruit now. I open the package. Looks bulky. I remove the thermocol cover. Oh My god!! I almost faint in horror! I was expecting a cool Apple IPOD shuffle and waht do I see? Its not an Apple! Its not an IPOD.Its 'Crapple'.And far from being an IPOD. My dreams are shattered. So much for the 'steal'. It was more like stolen. I had no idea what to do. I was stuck with it. Now wait! What about the free headphone? I search frantically in the box. There it is! What the *#@! ? They call THESE headphones? These little pieces of junk? There was the head, alright. And the phone. So are WE supposed to bring them together into holy matrimony or something? Wheres the wire? And where in hell is the the thing to connect it to the music player?
It then dawned on me that I had been taken for a ride. A real ride. I could picture the faces of the dealers now, thinking of me and how gullible I had been. Well, the jokes on you guys. I may have become poorer by 600 bucks, but I am now richer with the experience. Really rich. Really Really rich. :)
Forget Shanghaied, been Rediffed, anyone?
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
In Recession We Trust
There are some who are lucky enough to be educated in economics and hence know the meaning of the word 'Recession'. And then there are others, like yours truly who knows about it as much as Chris martin knows about batting, or Elizabeth Taylor about monogamy. So I did my research on the subject and this is what I found out. You know recession has affected you, when:
1. You go to the coffee vending machine and you realize that they have added an extra slot in it to put a 5 rupee coin.
2. You ask for stationery at the office and are faced with hostile stares as if you have asked for a condom at a monastery.
3. Your manager asks you to do car pooling while using the cab service and that too, with total strangers (read employees of other firms).
4. And then you walk to office saying that your dietician has advised it as a 'health improvement measure'.
5. Your salary gets halved, your perks get shelved, and the only thing that has increased is your Blood Pressure along with your workload.
6. The guy at the restaurant starts charging you for each tissue that you use up, and hence you have nothing to take home.
7. You wake up in the morning and find the free coupons in the newspapers having been cut out by your neighbour.
8. You go to the supermarket and only buy things that come with something free with them.
9. You come to work in the night shift, even though you have absolutely no work, so that you can earn that extra money.
10. You avoid eating out, giving the reason that the food is not hygienic.
11. You start visiting your long forgotten second cousin of the third cousin of your first cousins during weekends to ‘renew your relations’.
12. The hotel that youn stay in does not give you towels or soap or toothbrush saying that you might use them to commit suicide.
1. You go to the coffee vending machine and you realize that they have added an extra slot in it to put a 5 rupee coin.
2. You ask for stationery at the office and are faced with hostile stares as if you have asked for a condom at a monastery.
3. Your manager asks you to do car pooling while using the cab service and that too, with total strangers (read employees of other firms).
4. And then you walk to office saying that your dietician has advised it as a 'health improvement measure'.
5. Your salary gets halved, your perks get shelved, and the only thing that has increased is your Blood Pressure along with your workload.
6. The guy at the restaurant starts charging you for each tissue that you use up, and hence you have nothing to take home.
7. You wake up in the morning and find the free coupons in the newspapers having been cut out by your neighbour.
8. You go to the supermarket and only buy things that come with something free with them.
9. You come to work in the night shift, even though you have absolutely no work, so that you can earn that extra money.
10. You avoid eating out, giving the reason that the food is not hygienic.
11. You start visiting your long forgotten second cousin of the third cousin of your first cousins during weekends to ‘renew your relations’.
12. The hotel that youn stay in does not give you towels or soap or toothbrush saying that you might use them to commit suicide.
Hypermetropia
Far sightedness.. As the name suggests, some people have too much of it, while some have none at all. That makes us wonder what some people must have been thinking while making the below satements - some funny, some intelligent,some thoughtful, some outright stupid. Be the judge yourself.
100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
A conclusion is the place where you get tired of thinking.
A day without sunshine is like, night. (Bravo!)
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
All generalizations are false, including this one.
All men are idiots, and I married their King.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
Assassins do it from behind.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Beer: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks
Borrow money from a pessimist, they don't expect it back.
Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
and.. the one that tops it all...
Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
A conclusion is the place where you get tired of thinking.
A day without sunshine is like, night. (Bravo!)
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
All generalizations are false, including this one.
All men are idiots, and I married their King.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
Assassins do it from behind.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Beer: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks
Borrow money from a pessimist, they don't expect it back.
Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
and.. the one that tops it all...
Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
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