I have been flooded with multiple requests ( from multiple people, of course :) ) to publish my poetry or what I call 'my musical transgressions'. So here is one of them.
I've got a feeling tonight,
That things are gonna be right,
Who would have thought that you would
Come into my life and be the one
And a feeling tonight,
That somewhere there is a light,
And I will find my own way,
Whatever people may say.
And a feeling tonight,
That says you're gonna be mine,
Now I can hear my own heart,
saying that
Maybe I'm in love
I Dont know why where and how,
My heart was taken away,
By your smile and your sway.
Well, maybe I'm in Love,
But dont know where it begins,
and even where does it end,
I thought that you were my friend.
My life has now turned around for the better,
It couldn't have gotten any sweeter,
You're mine and thats the only thing I care for,
Maybe I should have let you known, girl.
You should have just stayed a little bit longer,
Given me love and made me stronger,
I should have tried that little bit harder,
To hold you near me forever.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
Thir13 Commandments of an IT Professional
1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.
2. If it's really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That helps. Or even better, hover behind me, advising me at every keystroke.
3. Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.
4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don't open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be injured and lose all use of my limbs.
5. If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is priority. I am psychic.
6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.
7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.
8. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.
9. If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.
10. Never introduce me to the people you're with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.
11. Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to managers' hell.
12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it's nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so much taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager.
13. Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I'm not here for the money anyway.
2. If it's really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That helps. Or even better, hover behind me, advising me at every keystroke.
3. Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.
4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don't open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be injured and lose all use of my limbs.
5. If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is priority. I am psychic.
6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.
7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.
8. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.
9. If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.
10. Never introduce me to the people you're with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.
11. Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to managers' hell.
12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it's nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so much taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager.
13. Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I'm not here for the money anyway.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Rediffed.. :(
I now know what the guy who invented the term 'Shanghaied' must have felt. There is no worse feeling than to be taken for a ride by someone, specially when you pride yourself to be real smart and above all cheatability. Well, my 'Smart' bubble burst last week, and it wasnt pretty, let me tell you.
It was just another routine day at work for me. I had absolutely nothing to do. I had tried it all, from trying out all the fonts and calculations and what not in excel (Its a great tool by Microsoft, let me tell you) to logging in to check my mail 36 times, in the vain hope of catching someone with whom I had not already had a chat in the previous hour, or to find any new forwards. No luck. And I was still bored. So I went for login number 37.
I was in luck this time. There was a mail!! It was from rediff shopping. Get a 2 GB Shuffle MP3 player for just Rs 599/- with extra BASS headphones absolutely free. What a steal, I thought to myself. I quickly filled up the online registration forms and then ordered for my product, paying through my debit card. And then the wait began.
Day 1 : Well, it has only been a day since I placed the order, lets wait.
Day 2 : Well, it has only been two days since I placed the order, lets wait.
Day 3 : Well, it has only been three days since I placed the order, lets wait. But I am beginning to lose my patience.
Day 4 : Thats it. I have had it. Let me write a mail asking where the hell is my IPOD. I do write the mail.
Day 5: No response. I forward the mail again to them.
Day 6 : Aha! Theres a response. Your order has been dispatched.
Day 7 : I get a call from the courier service that my package will be arriving today. They just called to know if I will be available. You bet I will. And then it finally arrived. All my waiting is going to bear fruit now. I open the package. Looks bulky. I remove the thermocol cover. Oh My god!! I almost faint in horror! I was expecting a cool Apple IPOD shuffle and waht do I see? Its not an Apple! Its not an IPOD.Its 'Crapple'.And far from being an IPOD. My dreams are shattered. So much for the 'steal'. It was more like stolen. I had no idea what to do. I was stuck with it. Now wait! What about the free headphone? I search frantically in the box. There it is! What the *#@! ? They call THESE headphones? These little pieces of junk? There was the head, alright. And the phone. So are WE supposed to bring them together into holy matrimony or something? Wheres the wire? And where in hell is the the thing to connect it to the music player?
It then dawned on me that I had been taken for a ride. A real ride. I could picture the faces of the dealers now, thinking of me and how gullible I had been. Well, the jokes on you guys. I may have become poorer by 600 bucks, but I am now richer with the experience. Really rich. Really Really rich. :)
Forget Shanghaied, been Rediffed, anyone?
It was just another routine day at work for me. I had absolutely nothing to do. I had tried it all, from trying out all the fonts and calculations and what not in excel (Its a great tool by Microsoft, let me tell you) to logging in to check my mail 36 times, in the vain hope of catching someone with whom I had not already had a chat in the previous hour, or to find any new forwards. No luck. And I was still bored. So I went for login number 37.
I was in luck this time. There was a mail!! It was from rediff shopping. Get a 2 GB Shuffle MP3 player for just Rs 599/- with extra BASS headphones absolutely free. What a steal, I thought to myself. I quickly filled up the online registration forms and then ordered for my product, paying through my debit card. And then the wait began.
Day 1 : Well, it has only been a day since I placed the order, lets wait.
Day 2 : Well, it has only been two days since I placed the order, lets wait.
Day 3 : Well, it has only been three days since I placed the order, lets wait. But I am beginning to lose my patience.
Day 4 : Thats it. I have had it. Let me write a mail asking where the hell is my IPOD. I do write the mail.
Day 5: No response. I forward the mail again to them.
Day 6 : Aha! Theres a response. Your order has been dispatched.
Day 7 : I get a call from the courier service that my package will be arriving today. They just called to know if I will be available. You bet I will. And then it finally arrived. All my waiting is going to bear fruit now. I open the package. Looks bulky. I remove the thermocol cover. Oh My god!! I almost faint in horror! I was expecting a cool Apple IPOD shuffle and waht do I see? Its not an Apple! Its not an IPOD.Its 'Crapple'.And far from being an IPOD. My dreams are shattered. So much for the 'steal'. It was more like stolen. I had no idea what to do. I was stuck with it. Now wait! What about the free headphone? I search frantically in the box. There it is! What the *#@! ? They call THESE headphones? These little pieces of junk? There was the head, alright. And the phone. So are WE supposed to bring them together into holy matrimony or something? Wheres the wire? And where in hell is the the thing to connect it to the music player?
It then dawned on me that I had been taken for a ride. A real ride. I could picture the faces of the dealers now, thinking of me and how gullible I had been. Well, the jokes on you guys. I may have become poorer by 600 bucks, but I am now richer with the experience. Really rich. Really Really rich. :)
Forget Shanghaied, been Rediffed, anyone?
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
In Recession We Trust
There are some who are lucky enough to be educated in economics and hence know the meaning of the word 'Recession'. And then there are others, like yours truly who knows about it as much as Chris martin knows about batting, or Elizabeth Taylor about monogamy. So I did my research on the subject and this is what I found out. You know recession has affected you, when:
1. You go to the coffee vending machine and you realize that they have added an extra slot in it to put a 5 rupee coin.
2. You ask for stationery at the office and are faced with hostile stares as if you have asked for a condom at a monastery.
3. Your manager asks you to do car pooling while using the cab service and that too, with total strangers (read employees of other firms).
4. And then you walk to office saying that your dietician has advised it as a 'health improvement measure'.
5. Your salary gets halved, your perks get shelved, and the only thing that has increased is your Blood Pressure along with your workload.
6. The guy at the restaurant starts charging you for each tissue that you use up, and hence you have nothing to take home.
7. You wake up in the morning and find the free coupons in the newspapers having been cut out by your neighbour.
8. You go to the supermarket and only buy things that come with something free with them.
9. You come to work in the night shift, even though you have absolutely no work, so that you can earn that extra money.
10. You avoid eating out, giving the reason that the food is not hygienic.
11. You start visiting your long forgotten second cousin of the third cousin of your first cousins during weekends to ‘renew your relations’.
12. The hotel that youn stay in does not give you towels or soap or toothbrush saying that you might use them to commit suicide.
1. You go to the coffee vending machine and you realize that they have added an extra slot in it to put a 5 rupee coin.
2. You ask for stationery at the office and are faced with hostile stares as if you have asked for a condom at a monastery.
3. Your manager asks you to do car pooling while using the cab service and that too, with total strangers (read employees of other firms).
4. And then you walk to office saying that your dietician has advised it as a 'health improvement measure'.
5. Your salary gets halved, your perks get shelved, and the only thing that has increased is your Blood Pressure along with your workload.
6. The guy at the restaurant starts charging you for each tissue that you use up, and hence you have nothing to take home.
7. You wake up in the morning and find the free coupons in the newspapers having been cut out by your neighbour.
8. You go to the supermarket and only buy things that come with something free with them.
9. You come to work in the night shift, even though you have absolutely no work, so that you can earn that extra money.
10. You avoid eating out, giving the reason that the food is not hygienic.
11. You start visiting your long forgotten second cousin of the third cousin of your first cousins during weekends to ‘renew your relations’.
12. The hotel that youn stay in does not give you towels or soap or toothbrush saying that you might use them to commit suicide.
Hypermetropia
Far sightedness.. As the name suggests, some people have too much of it, while some have none at all. That makes us wonder what some people must have been thinking while making the below satements - some funny, some intelligent,some thoughtful, some outright stupid. Be the judge yourself.
100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
A conclusion is the place where you get tired of thinking.
A day without sunshine is like, night. (Bravo!)
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
All generalizations are false, including this one.
All men are idiots, and I married their King.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
Assassins do it from behind.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Beer: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks
Borrow money from a pessimist, they don't expect it back.
Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
and.. the one that tops it all...
Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
A conclusion is the place where you get tired of thinking.
A day without sunshine is like, night. (Bravo!)
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
All generalizations are false, including this one.
All men are idiots, and I married their King.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
Assassins do it from behind.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Beer: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks
Borrow money from a pessimist, they don't expect it back.
Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
and.. the one that tops it all...
Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
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